Dear friends and readers,
This is different from many of the stories youve seen me write.  
It is more or less true (names and places have been changed to 
protect well, ME). I had my first real boyfriend when I was 15, 
and a sophomore in high school. I began my diary. Told it more 
than just my dating quandaries, but filled with all sorts of 
teenage angst and melodramatics. (and looking back, I could be 
incredibly melodramatic). The diary ended about a month before 
my wedding, so I guess you really could call this the Dating 
Diary. 
Why post my pathetic diary? Easy. While I realize many of us 
write in fantasy, Im tired of 14/16 year olds thinking like 30 
year olds. Realism Folks! And whats more real than an actual 
diary? In some respects the writing sucks. I have changed 
nothing but actual names. Thought about elaborating, but then, 
youd get my near 30 year brain in places it doesnt belong. 
This is what it is.  
The basics, however, still apply. This is my work, (for better 
or worse) is copyrighted by me, and no posting without my prior 
permission. Celestes blow job principle is still in action 
guys. This may or may not include adult situations, so if youre 
not allowed to watch a nc-17 movie, scram. All other enjoy (or 
not *shrug *).
Dating Diary 1988
By Dryad


Dear Diary,								10/20/88
I am starting this diary to tell everything. To people, I cant 
be perfectly honest and not hurt them, but to you I will tell 
everything.
I guess the reason I started this was because I have a 
boyfriend. Chris Carpenter.  He doesnt want me telling my 
friends everything about what we do and I have trouble doing 
that, so I figured I could tell you instead of my friends.

Well, lets see, where do I begin? The beginning, of course.  I 
was in work on 9/24/88 on Saturday.  I had offered sex to a boy 
in my algebra class and ended up telling him what a fool I made 
of myselfthen I go around and ask him! And when he said no, I 
dared him to call home and stay later in work. Still, I was 
confused. Why would he say no? Sure, Im no great prize, but not 
many girls are willing to do that!
I realized that I had lost respect for myself and that I was 
tired of being me., which I told him when he asked why I 
offered.  The next weekend, I got his phone number and called 
him to ask him if he liked me or now (boy, was I really that 
daring?) It was lucky though, because he said he did.
The next Saturday, he came over my house after work. It was a 
dreary, rainy day, but we went out anyway. We walked down to the 
pond and from there, I brought him to my field. Its on Castles 
old property, with a thicket in the corner, next to the stream, 
and a pine tree in the center. I got a scare, we found the 
skeleton of a deer near the thicket.  All this time, he hadnt 
kissed me and it bothered me.  We went to the clubhouse from 
there, and just sat down.  Finally I said, Ive got something 
I want you do to.? He answered what? and I said back softly, 
almost pleadingly, Kiss me?
He leaned over and gave me a kiss, then we sat there and French 
kissed for nearly a half an hour! We went back to the house 
until he had to leave.  We worked Monday and every time we had 
to go to the upper greenhouse, we stopped for a few seconds to 
kiss. During lunch break, we thought Lance had left, we went 
into the chicken coops and out to see the geese.  He was working 
in the greenhouse, we left really quick.  We went down around 
the west greenhouse in back where no one could see and spent a 
while there. Arlene was sleeping when we got back!
The next Saturday was surprising. We didnt get together that 
weekend, but we had kissed during a 15 minute break for over 20 
minutes! Now Im up to Wednesday. U had gone over his house. Boy 
is it beautiful, especially the balcony overlooking the living 
room. We went for a walk in back of his house, and ended up in 
this cornfield. At one side there was a gravel pit. We sat on 
the edge for awhile talking and kissing. Then where he scorched 
the grass (long story) then on a log near the edge. (we were 
trying to make our way back) then on some hay in the field. When 
we were here, he told me he liked my hair long. I was glad. I 
forgot to add the Saturday Arlene was there, he told me he 
wasnt ready for a serious relationship. It hurt a little (liar, 
it hurt a lot) but I wouldnt let him know. I laughed it off and 
said did I look like I was ready for marriage? oh, yes, back 
to the field; we made it back through the woods when I asked him 
why he turned me down. He told me he wanted to but he respected 
me too much. (I definitely made it hard for him when I dared 
him!)
When we got back I asked him if we could go to this 
grandparents, but he said now.
This really hurt me too, but again, I didnt say anything. So we 
were up in his room looking over car magazines. I asked him what 
homework he had. He checked and said he didnt have any so I 
stayed an extra hour. I ate dinner there. Before Christ warned 
me they said grace which was good (that he told me I mean)
After dinner, we were up in his room, I was lying on his bed and 
we were kissing for about  of an hour. I sure hope he didnt 
catch my cold.
That was all except that he liked the bracelet I made him.
p.s. I wont promise to write in this every day because Im not 
in the habit of making promises I cant keep.
Dear Diary,							10/21/88
Boy did today suck! I forgot to read Tale of Two Cities so I 
failed the quiz (I think) then I retook the french testbomb! 
Algebra test I know I got a 0 out of 30. To top that off, Mom 
told me when I got home that Linc and Arlene know about Chris 
and me! Chriss going to have a shit fit. Then she told me that 
Linc was going to get on my case for forgetting to turn the 
mists back on! Today is my DAY! Ill finish later after Chris 
calls. But first I want to copy this poem I found on a postcard 
in Sacketts:
Only as high
As I reach can I grow
Only as far
As I seek can I go
Only as deep as I look can I see
Only as much
As I dream can I be- Karen Ravin

Later-
Damn! Today is rally my day. I think Chris caught my cold, but 
either way he is sick, so I cant talk to him. I hope hell be 
okay cuz I know I hate being sick. Sunday is supposed to be 
rainy so we probably cant go to the cliffs even if he was okay.  
If he goes to work tomorrow Ill ask.  The only bad thing is 
that I cant warn him that Linc knows. Life is a Bitch! If he 
calls back Ill write more, if not, well bye

Chris didnt call, but I remembered something I wanted to write, 
Mom told me something about Arlene. Arlene was married to John 
it seems and they had gotten divorced. After a period of time, 
john came back and Arlene took him. Theyve been living together 
since (3 years) every year he leaves her though. Sounds like a 
soap opera, huh? Well. Later.
Dear Diary, 								10/22/88
Life sucks!
Chris didnt come to work today. Lianne told me this poem that I 
like
I may not always tell you
Exactly how I feel; but the love I have for you
Will always be real.
You mean so much to me-
More than you will know;
And I will always love you
Wherever you may go
So when your days are really rough
And you dont know what to do
Remember these words I am saying now
I will always care for you.
Im upset (right) Im miserable and Im depressed . Help! I miss 
Chris, Im sorry hes sick, Im bored (naw, me, bored? must have 
me mixed up with someone else.) Im miserable because I know 
Chris doesnt care for me the way I care for him, and Im afraid 
hell get tired of me and break up with me. Im afraid Ill fail 
my classes, that Ill fail at everything (including life)
It hurts me that mike doesnt care as much as I do, I mean it 
hurts a lot.
You know what diary? My life sucks.
I nearly lost my job today. Chris was sick, Im not doing 
anything this weekend. This morning I weighed myself89 pounds! 
I lost 5 lbs, gross! I weighed myself again around 492! Ive 
eaten that much- talk about wallowing in self pity.
Later, 
I feel better.(mentally, physically, I feel worse-my cold is 
worse!) coughing like crazy. I was extremely lazy and didnt do 
a thing. (except read listen to music ans tuff my face) thats 
all I guess for today. Bye
Dear Diary,								10/23/88
I smell a fish! I called Chris and his father said he was out 
shopping at the mall with a friend. Sick my foot! I wouldnt 
have midned if he just said, I dont want to do anything this 
weekend! Ihave wash to finish. Later.
Well, we were going to go to the Diamond mall but It was too 
late when we left so we went to Westbend mall. I looked for 
Chris, but I didnt find him.  He probably already left.  I got 
3 tapes and a record and got Katies present. 
I called Chris.  I told him about a magazine I saw that was just 
about sports cars (or was it special cars?) he said hed check 
it out. He said he got a new tape and 2 new magazines. He went 
to the mall with his sisters boyfriend, sooo I didnt tell him 
I was mad, okay, slightly jealous? Oui, Madame! All right, I had 
better get to bed. Bye!
Dear Diary,								10/24/88
I did fail all my tests! But I got a 5 instead of a zero on my 
algebra and I got a 4 in English and got a 52 (a 52? A 52! You 
idiot!) On my french test funny thing is Amy got a 54 and Mme. 
Riese told HER she needed help after school!
Now isnt that ironic! Ill write later when I have more to say. 
Chris isnt home so I havent talked to him. Weather lately has 
been Horrible! This weekend had better be nice. Um hoping 
Sunday we can go to the cliffs. Saturday after work were going 
to the mall. (Diamond or Ridgefield, mom isnt sure yet.)
I have some sort of rash on my face, cuz its itching like crazy. 
Gotta go now, later!
Dear Diary,								10/25/88
Today was much better. I got a 83 on my chem. Test- I did even 
better than Marie! Then I got a 20 out of 20 on my algebra test 
and tied with Jared! Chris is at a friends house so if he calls 
Ill write more later.
Dear Diary,								10/26/88
I just finished talking to Chris. Can you believe he knows all 
you know? I read him this. (Yes, I am crazy) the play was 
fantastic (I never thought Shakespeare was sucha comedian) 
[Midsummer Nights Dream] I talked to Polly while waiting for 
dad to pick me up. She liked the poem I wrote:
The romantic things you say and do
Endear you to my heart
And because I love you
I hope well never part.
For my darling that I care
More than words can say
You and I are the perfect pair
And I hope well stay that way.
 In Hartford, we were an hour early so we could do what we 
wanted. Chan and I went downtown to a mall, which is next to G 
Fox and Sage Allen. That was fun. Chris told me he bought that 
magazine. He said it was good. This really hurts. Yeah it 
bothers me but it gets worse when I realize that it isnt really 
(I mean it is but he cant help the way he feels) fault. Like 
Phil Collins says you cant hurry love. I told Chris he 
ought to be privileged to read this (well, hear it) he said it 
was mainly about him anyway. Hah! Thats the reason why! Most 
people wouldnt let other people know how they feel. Thats my 
big problem. I show too muchthen people step where they 
please. Katelyn doesnt bother me anymore. Its like she doest 
like me, but a familiar face is better than none.
The newspapers getting nowhere-fast. We better hurry! I asked 
Chris if he wanted to do anything. He said his normal response, 
I dont know  I asked him about going to the cliffs, he 
replied, Are you nuts? I retorted I thought I already told 
you I was crazy. Im getting tired (too much in one day) bye 
bye!
Dear Diary, 								10/27/88
Its about 8:30. We had our Algebra test today. I read today that 
High Mountain Rangers is supposed to be back in January.
Chris wasnt home. In CPR today, Josh asked how he was, I said 
hes fine, then he asked have you had sex with him! I told him, 
quote, That my dear, is none of your business. He said I was 
two timing him (Chris) by calling him (josh) dear! Then he 
hasked ifweve hissed. Beth broke in then ad said Josh wanted me 
and Josh said oh, yeah, I want your body, Michelle. I told him I 
wouldnt touch him with a ten foot pole.
Aunt Laura sent me some more Rose petals (dried this time) now I 
have 2  big jars or rose petals. I have to dry more apples too.
Somebody recently asked me what it ws like, being in love. I 
told her it was like a roller coaster. One minute youre up so 
high because you know he loves you and you love him and its 
such a good feeling (him love me? Well, not yet.) the next 
minute youre as far down as you can go because you miss him.  
God is that True! Ive got to go to bed. Swimming tomorrow (oh, 
brother) bye!
Dear Diary,								10/28/88
	Were still not sure about this weekend. I hope I will be 
ale to go to his house. I called him, but he was eating so he 
called me back. When we had to get off I asked him if he missed 
mehe said he couldnt say. I asked him if his brother in law 
was there, and he said yes. I asked him to say yes he missed me, 
or no, he didnt. He said yes. I got a 62 on my algebra test- I 
passed my English test and I think I did okay on my French test. 
Its past 10 and I have to be to work by 8 so I had better go. 
But before I doLinda and Lianne are now officially co-editors 
of the newspaperDamn! Here I was working my ass off for 
nothing! Well, damn it, they can have the fucking position! Now 
I have free time to work after school if I damn please. Yes! It 
does bother me! Theyve known for over a god-damned month! They 
didnt want to hurt my feelings (oh, please!) if that were 
true, they wouldnt have done it in the first place! This was my 
last change for the academy. They didnt realize that I needed 
something really good for my resume. I love Writing! Writing is 
one of the most important things that I do! It is one of the few 
that people respect me for. Oh, you can still be Assistant 
Editor. Big whoppdy-shit! Yeah, Im pissed. Ive wanted this 
for sooo longwell fine they can be that way, Im sick of the 
whole damn school. When will they see me, and not what they want 
to think! I was this close to quitting the newspaper but Ive 
worked too long and hard on this. Every damn last one of them 
can go to hell, including Lianne.
I feel much better. Lindas like dont cry damnit, I will if 
I want to. Maybe it isnt that important to her, but it was to 
me.  Im not going to let them have the satisfaction of known 
how hut I am. Damn and these are supposed to be friends? Gotta 
go. Seeing Chris tomorrow. 

Work in Progress

Copyright Dryad (gbbjg@yahoo.com) 2003
